Categories
Blather

Last Minute Shopping is The Only Kind I Do

xmasChristmas is six days away and I bought my first gift yesterday. This is an improvement over Chanukah, when my last minute shopping was even worse: everything purchased on the day the holiday began.

I have not always been this much of a flake.

I was not a huge procrastinator when I was young. I carried a DayRunner and I used it — but my memory was so good back then that the mere act of writing something down ensured that I would remember. I rarely needed to look up the phone numbers of my family and friends; I just knew them.

Of course, I was a single woman, with only myself and a cat to look after. My job was basically nine to five. Even after I purchased my first computer, my time online was mostly social and finite (you paid for access by the minute back then and the cost was exorbitant). The things I needed to do on a day to day basis were fairly manageable and did not spill over to the following week – or month. I met my deadlines. I got things done.

I am not like that any longer. I have stopped creating daily to-do lists because after the first five or six tasks that I HAVE to accomplish on any given day I feel so overwhelmed that I want to curl into a fetal position and cry. So I typically begin my day with a plan to tackle the squeakiest of all my competing squeaky wheels… until I crash right into a whole ‘nother automobile with a couple of flats.

All right,  so that was a stupid analogy; proof I’ve been spending too much time writing automotive posts and not enough on taking care of business. For example: I began writing this post at 8:14 AM… until I remembered I had to get an invoice in to a client (so I could get paid before the year ends!), that we had a new blog action at MOMocrats that needed to be disseminated, that I had agreed to participate in a social media campaign to stop the violence – oh, and there was laundry and dishes and pets to be cared for, too.

Chanukah finished on Saturday. I was proud that I removed the menorah on Sunday morning and placed it near the sink so I could clean it — where it still sits. There is a stack of Christmas cards on the dining room table, just waiting for me to address and send. It’s silly to do that in the morning, when my brain is freshest for the kind of focus I need to write — right? That’s the kind of task I can do at night, when I’m relaxing in front of the TV. But still, they sit.

And then there’s the tree. My husband and daughter trimmed it over the weekend, and it looks nice but beneath it, there are no gifts. I need to do some shopping for my daughter, my husband, my nieces and American nephew. Buying gifts for the British nephews is always problematic. I mentioned this to my husband two weeks ago, but did I act on it? Of course not. Part of the problem is that they are not little kids any longer, and the distance means we don’t see them very often, so figuring out what they would like isn’t easy. There always seem to be issues with customs when sending something from the US, and even though Internet commerce makes shopping overseas easier in theory, in practice it’s not what you’d think. UK-based companies won’t accept payment with a US credit card. In fact, the only one we’ve found that will accept our orders is Amazon. I’m pretty tired of sending the boys gift vouchers from Amazon.co.uk, but so far, I have not found a solution. So if they are reading this (which I doubt!), they can count on receiving our usual Christmas greetings.

It’s 11:30 now. Once this post is finished, I’ll try to get a little more of that shopping in. But I’m not hopeful. I cannot handle crowds and the longer I wait to hit the stores, the faster I will want to get out of there.

Oh well. There is always tomorrow.

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Categories
Mom Life

Christmas Time for the Jews

Happy Holidays!
This year I brought a menorah along for our family photo at the Christmas tree lot.

Each December, we meet our friends Debbie and Tim for dinner at Rosti, followed by a trip to Tapia Brothers to get our Christmas trees. We’ve got 10 years of photos of our girls frolicking around the big prop tractor and real live farm animals. It is a holiday tradition for our mixed-religion nuclear family living in a city without anyone else to rely on.

I used to try to delay the Christmas decorations until Chanukah had come and gone, except during those years when the two December holidays overlap, in which case, it is impossible — or those years when we spend Christmas with my husband’s family in Wales, in which case I lobby not to put up decorations at all, because we’re not home to enjoy them. (I usually lose that fight, but I try.)

This year, when my husband announced he wanted to buy the tree earlier, I didn’t see any reason to delay — even though the only time our friends were available for this was last evening; the second  night of Chanukah. So we met for dinner, were greeted warmly by the restaurant’s host, posed for family photos among the trees and fake Santas and chickens and sheep… and lit the menorah later that night in presence of the tree.

It has not always been this easy. And it may not always be.

I’ve always had an uneasy relationship with the December holidays. I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a Fox News-style “War on Christmas,” although there have been years when my husband has accused me of that. It’s complicated, and I should have expected complications when I fell in love with someone of another faith. He has trouble understanding how it feels to be a member of a religious minority, and I have trouble understanding why he just doesn’t get it.

My husband grew up in a country with a state religion, and while we do not have one here (although some people are trying!), I grew up knowing I was different. In the early 1960’s, public school kids were still taught prayers. I was in my elementary school chorus and sang traditional Christmas carols in our Christmas program just before we broke for Christmas vacation. I loved those beautiful traditional religious songs, but I worried that G-d would be angry with me for singing the parts about Jesus. So I would lip sync those words and hope that was okay.

I don’t sing carols any longer (at least, not when anyone can hear me), but I will occasionally break out the sheet music and play them on the piano. I’ve got an iPod playlist of over 100 Christmas songs and enjoy listening to them once Thanksgiving is over and the holiday season has truly begun. I also own a small collection of Christmas movies which I insist on watching this time of year: the usual ones, like “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “Miracle on 34th Street” to modern ones like “Love, Actually.” My husband finds this odd, but there simply aren’t that many good movies about Chanukah.

I don’t mean to give you the impression that we are always alone. My sister’s family and my parents live 400 miles away, up in Sacramento. It’s not nearly as hard to get to as Great Britain, where my husband’s people reside. And she and her husband and kids drive down here every December to spend time with his family, who have always welcomed us to join them. And then most years we go up north to spend New Year’s Eve with them.

But my husband and I wanted traditions of our own. The annual trip to buy the tree is one of them. We also set aside one day to visit Santa Monica’s Kings Head Shoppe for Christmas goodies imported from the UK. We open our gifts on Christmas morning, locate a link to view the Queen’s Christmas message, and try to talk or videochat with the family in Wales. I roast a chicken and bangers purchased from the Kings Head, along with potatoes and other veg. And we tend to be too full to want dessert, so most years the purchased Christmas pudding ends up sitting in my pantry until it’s past its sell by date. (But we have it, just in case.)

Tonight we will decorate that tree after we light the Chanukah candles. And then, I just may watch my all-time favorite Christmas movie: The Bishop’s Wife, which I love because it’s whimsical and it’s got Cary Grant and David Niven, who as the bishop delivers a sermon that makes me feel a little teary.

Tonight I want to tell you the story of an empty stocking.

 

Once upon a midnight clear, there was a child’s cry, a blazing star hung over a stable, and wise men came with birthday gifts. We haven’t forgotten that night down the centuries. We celebrate it with stars on Christmas trees, with the sound of bells, and with gifts.

 

But especially with gifts. You give me a book, I give you a tie. Aunt Martha has always wanted an orange squeezer and Uncle Henry can do with a new pipe. For we forget nobody, adult or child. All the stockings are filled, all that is, except one. And we have even forgotten to hang it up. The stocking for the child born in a manger. Its his birthday we’re celebrating. Don’t let us ever forget that.

 

Let us ask ourselves what He would wish for most. And then, let each put in his share, loving kindness, warm hearts, and a stretched out hand of tolerance. All the shining gifts that make peace on earth.

Peace on earth. Good will to all. This is something we can all aspire to: Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, atheist, human.

Happy Chanukah. And Merry Christmas.